Funny Drinking Quotes
- Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — W.C. Fields
- A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow… — Winston Churchill
- The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher. — Dean Martin
- Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets. — Dudley Moore
- The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick… — Lewis Grizzard
- I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend… — Mark Twain
- I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told… — Chelsea Handler
- Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking… — Ben Jonson