Funny Drinking Quotes
- I am a drinker with writing problems. — Brendan Behan
- Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. — Robert Benchley
- Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they're drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle. — Paul McCartney
- Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises. — Jim Jefferies
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. — Kinky Friedman
- I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. — Rodney Dangerfield
- If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. — W.C. Fields
- I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite. — Bette Midler
- I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. — David Lee Roth
- Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. — Mark Twain
- Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. — Tom Waits
- I can resist everything except temptation. — Oscar Wilde
- I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. — Dorothy Parker
- I drink to make other people more interesting. — Ernest Hemingway
- There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others. — Raymond Chandler
- There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers. — Chelsea Handler
- Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life. — F. Scott Fitzgerald
- Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go To heal my heart and drown my woe Rain may fall, and wind may blow And many… — J.R.R. Tolkien
- Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. — Steve Martin
- I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again. — Charles Bukowski