Funniest Quotes

160 Funniest quotes by 138 unique authors

Call listened with amusement--not that the incident hadn't been terrible. Being decapitated was a grisly fate, whether you were a Yankee or not. But then,… — Larry McMurtry
The funniest people are the saddest once — Confucius
Can you stand? (Aimee) Iâ€™m not helpless. (Fang) Oh, look! Mr. Macho is back in all his glory. Hello, Mr. Macho, itâ€™s so not good… — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. "Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just… — Derek Landy
Ransom thought her girly tendencies the funniest thing ever, constantly teased her over them, but the last time he'd opened his big mouth, she'd gotten… — Nalini Singh
And it's the funniest thing: as soon as I see it, the whistling in my ears stops and the feeling of terror drains away, and… — Lauren Oliver
I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except… — Meg Cabot
The world's most funniest and easiest thing is to give an advice... — Chetan Bhagat
some of my happiest funniest times have been spent in offices. Perhaps because the work was mudane, even the tiniest of distractions become wildly hilarious… — Miranda Hart
Is it needy? It's not. We don't need each other. We just really, really enjoy each other. And we're good together. We're good people together.… — Emma Forrest
I miss you, Eleanor. I want to be with you all the time. Youâ€™re the smartest girl Iâ€™ve ever met, and the funniest, and everything… — Rainbow Rowell
And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats. — George Carlin
Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school. — Vanessa Bayer
The funniest things are the forbidden. — Mark Twain
Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is. — Douglas Coupland
My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew. — Russell Peters
The embarrassment of a situation can, once you are over it, be the funniest time in your life. And I suppose a lot of my… — Miranda Hart
I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas;… — Paul Shaffer
What I try to do is always get the newest, funniest people in anything. — Allison Jones
Steve Howey is probably the funniest man in Hollywood. For real. He is just that person that can make you laugh at all times. — Shanola Hampton

Who Wrote These Funniest Quotes

138 authors contributed a total of 160 Funniest Quotes, led by these top contributors: