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All Quotes by Joseph Heller
- Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give…
- There was only one catch and that was Catch22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real…
- In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
- I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
- But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence…
- What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans…
- Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window, and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and…
- It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance…
- Yossarian was cold, too, and shivering uncontrollably. He felt goose pimples clacking all over him as he gazed down despondently at the grim secret Snowden…
- So many things were testing his faith. There was the Bible, of course, but the Bible was a book, and so were Bleak House, Treasure…
- To Yossarian, the idea of pennants as prizes was absurd. No money went with them, no class privileges. Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all…
- Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three.…
- History did not demand Yossarian's premature demise, justice could be satisfied without it, progress did not hinge upon it, victory did not depend on it.…
- You wouldn’t be normal if you were never afraid. Even the bravest men experience fear. One of the biggest jobs we all face in combat…
- Who's they?" He wanted to know. "Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?" "Every one of them," Yossarian told him. "Every one…
- The frog is almost five hundred million years old. Could you really say with much certainty that America, with all its strength and prosperity, with…
- He found Luciana sitting alone at a table in the Allied officers' night club, where the drunken Anzac major who had brought her there had…
- Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
- Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
- Someone had to do something sometime. Every victim was a culprit, every culprit a victim, and somebody had to stand up sometime to try to…
More All Quotes
- Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from which changes of mind might naturally arise. — Hannah Arendt
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- The ultimate end of human acts is eudaimonia, happiness in the sense of living well, which all men desire; all acts are… — Hannah Arendt
- The new always happens against the overwhelming odds of statistical laws and their probability, which for all practical, everyday purposes amounts to… — Hannah Arendt
- Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of culprits, and… — Hannah Arendt
- We have almost succeeded in leveling all human activities to the common denominator of securing the necessities of life and providing for… — Hannah Arendt
- I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or… — Pietro Aretino
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide