Best Airline Words

170 Airline quotes by 105 unique authors

As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of… — Bob Hope
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip. — Bob Hope
The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for… — Dave Barry
This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream. — Dave Barry
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas today, because of… — Dave Barry
Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is,… — Dave Barry
If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life. — Dave Barry
I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around. — Dave Barry
Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour." — Dave Barry
This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be… — Dave Barry
In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes. — Dave Barry
Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. — Dave Barry
The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex,… — Dave Barry
The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been… — Dave Barry
Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a… — Dave Barry
If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered… — Dave Barry
I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky. — Erma Bombeck
Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus. — Erma Bombeck
The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he… — George Carlin
I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra. — George S. Kaufman
I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro… — P.J. O'Rourke
Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges. — P.J. O'Rourke
Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a… — Robin Williams
Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the… — Robin Williams
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. — Dave Barry

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105 authors contributed a total of 170 Airline Quotes, led by these top contributors:

Best Airline Words

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Who Wrote These Airline Quotes