Abuse-survivor Quote by Bessel A. van der Kolk
““It was early in my career, and I had been seeing Mary, a shy, lonely, and physically collapsed young woman, for about three months in weekly psychotherapy, dealing with the ravages of her terrible history of early abuse. One day I opened the door to my waiting room and saw her standing there provocatively, dressed in a miniskirt, her hair dyed flaming red, with a cup of coffee in one hand and a snarl on her face. “You must be Dr. van der Kolk,” she said. “My name is Jane, and I came to warn you not to believe any the lies that Mary has been telling you. Can I come in and tell you about her?” I was stunned but fortunately kept myself from confronting “Jane” and instead heard her out. Over the course of our session I met not only Jane but also a hurt little girl and an angry male adolescent. That was the beginning of a long and productive treatment.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel A. van der Kolk, 2014
A therapist discovers a patient’s alter ego, revealing hidden trauma layers that become central to healing.
In simple terms: A hidden personality shows deeper wounds.
Key Takeaway
Listen to all parts of a story.
Themes
trauma
identity
healing
therapy
psychology
Mood
empathetic
curious
Type
clinical
insightful
When to use this quote
- clinical sessions
- patient intake
- case formulation
- trauma-informed care
Key Concepts
dissociation
inner child
integrative therapy
Questions to Reflect On
- How can clinicians safely explore alternate identities?
- What signs suggest a hidden persona is present?
A Different Perspective
May overlook the alter ego’s insights if focusing only on the primary narrative.
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