Abuse Quote by Laura Davis
““Survivors often develop an exaggerated need for control in their adult relationships. It’s the only way they feel safe. They also struggle with commitment—saying yes in a relationship means being trapped in yet another family situation where abuse might take place. So the survivor panics as her relationship gets closer, certain that something terrible is going to happen. She pulls away, rejects, or tests her partner all the time.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, 2014
Survivors of trauma often over‑control relationships to feel safe, fearing commitment may lead to repeat abuse, causing them to distance or test partners.
In simple terms: Trauma leads to control and fear of commitment in relationships.
Key Takeaway
Recognize patterns and seek safe, supportive therapy.
Themes
trauma
control
relationships
commitment
fear
Mood
anxious
hopeful
Type
psychological
advice
When to use this quote
- dating
- marriage counseling
- support groups
- personal therapy
Key Concepts
attachment theory
re‑enactment
self‑protection
Questions to Reflect On
- How does your need for control affect closeness?
- What safe steps can you take toward trust?
A Different Perspective
Control can become a barrier to intimacy and healing if not addressed.
