Wendy Liebman Quotes

18 quotes in 297 categories

• My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my… Dog
• I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like:… Cat
• I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff. Get Married
• I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty. Cream
• My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money. Always Said
• Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you. Dating
• I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn't want to go, because I've put on like a hundred pounds. Empowerment
• I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to… College
• I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail… Amy
• I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up… Acting
• I don't like to channel surf. You guys like it, don't you. You guys like to change the channel. We like to change you. Change
• I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked… Audience
• My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. Big
• I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. Been
• People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them....well it's killing me! Addiction
• I think I'd be a good mother. Maybe a little overprotective. Like I would never let the kid out, of my body. Body

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