When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. — W. C. Fields Death Copy Share Image
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. — W. C. Fields Beautiful Copy Share Image
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew. — W. C. Fields Comedy Copy Share Image
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. — W. C. Fields Bars drinking Copy Share Image
“I was in love with a beautiful blond once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her… — W. C. Fields Beautiful Copy Share Image
Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go… — W. C. Fields Food Copy Share Image
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze… — W. C. Fields California Copy Share Image
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine… — W. C. Fields Death Copy Share Image
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh. — W. C. Fields Business Copy Share Image
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze… — W. C. Fields Ambition Copy Share Image
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with. — W. C. Fields Inspirational Copy Share Image
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. — W. C. Fields Decency Copy Share Image
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one. — W. C. Fields Comedy Copy Share Image
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. — W. C. Fields Cat Copy Share Image
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years. — W. C. Fields Drunk Copy Share Image
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. — W. C. Fields Alcohol Copy Share Image
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt! — W. C. Fields Betting Copy Share Image
