Sheryne Brooks Quotes

43 quotes in 642 categories

• Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
• Girls get cramps, bloating and irritability. Guys should get a good strong kick in the balls once a month
• Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
• According to parents we're too young for love, too old for fun, too smart to play dumb and too immature for grown up conversations. Its…
• Today I tried to prank Call Dominos Pizza, the conversation went like this: Me: Is this the Krusty Krab? the Cashier responded No, this is…
• So today at school.. We had a special visitor. He asked the audience, If you could choose between either having the super power to fly…
• Mom: Who are you texting? Me: Someone. Mom: Why can't you tell me? Me: A boy. Mom: What's his name? Is he your boyfriend? He…
• Guy ( 16 years ) : Do you want to marry me ? Girl ( 16 years ) : WTF ?! NO !!! Guy (…
• Mother: We're in a dorm Me: Yeah? Mother: I can hear you crying... Me: Sorry.. my heart is broken. I can't stop! Mother: If your…
• Baby mosquito comes back after first time of flying: Mom Mosquito: How do it feel? Baby Mosquito: It was.. wonderful! Everyone was clapping for me!
• I went to the grocery store where my boyfriend works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his…
• Dad:why you crying? Girl:my boyfriend dumped me! Dad:(grabs shot gun) I'll be back..while later dad comes back, Girl:what the hell! why did you go kill…
• Guy1: Did you know that sugar is the only word in the English language that the su makes a sh sound? Guy2: Really? Guy1: Yeah,…
• Boy:*kneels down on one knee* girl:w-what are y-you doing *blushes like crazy* boy:*looks up nd smiles* Ive been wanting to do this for a long…
• *A boy is at home when his sister comes in the door crying* B: What's up? S: My boyfriend dumped me. B: Naaaaw *hugs* why?…
• Me: Hey mom, need help with the dishes? Mom: Oh no thank you honey. I have I t. *10 minutes later* Mom: I SWEAR I…
• What if your GPS spoke in Professor Snape's voice? You'd hear things like, How very like your father you are, you arrogant fool; he would…
• I waited for you last night, and I fell asleep with the phone in my palm. when I woke up the next morning, I quickly…
• Today, I was sitting on the toilet. I asked my bf to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so but They weren't…
• -Hey Mrs Morgan -WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME AT 2 IN THE MORNING? you can only text me for Math homework! -Oh sorry... are you…

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