Ron White Quotes

49 quotes in 653 categories

• Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks
• I didn't get where I am today by worryin about how I'd feel tomorrow.
• We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix…
• I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
• Apparently I ain't the only cat on the block digs cheetos.
• Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
• If you kill someone in Texas, we'll kill ya back.
• Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken.…
• If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade....
• You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
• I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have…
• The next time you have a thought... let it go.
• I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
• People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
• Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.
• You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
• I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
• Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
• Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
• You can't fix stupid.

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