All Rob Delaney Quotes
- Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes. Cat
- We can and should complain about certain horrors of the modern world, but when it comes to the treatment of mental illness, the advances made… Advances
- Don't even FRONT like you love your family, America, or God, if you don't have a DETAILED & REHEARSED Black Friday tactical shopping plan. America
- Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire. All
- I no longer believe in freedom of speech. Believe
- I hate wearing suits and ties. Hate
- I use Twitter as a tool to get involved with people, to sell tickets to gigs where I can stand in a room and smell… Audience
- I want people to feel good about themselves. Feel
- I'm crazy about Shakespeare, who was a notorious word inventor. And my wife is an English teacher, and she's hilarious. Crazy
- I'm endlessly fascinated by parenting, marriage, my wife and the ins and outs of marriage. Endlessly
- In high school, I definitely fancied myself an intense guy, which is so lame. Definitely
- In real life, I am alarmingly boring. Alarmingly
- My stand-up is far more rooted in reality than my Twitter. Far
- On Twitter, I just want to make you laugh at all costs. All
- Politicians, it's in their job description to just lie, every day. Day
- Well, Mitt Romney is a very attractive comedic target. He's irresistible to me. I mean, seriously, I want to pay less attention to him. Attention
- But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown… Bodies
- Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they talking about their… Brand
- I had always loved comedy, and acted out Steve Martin and Bill Cosby albums with my sister for my parents on road trips and stuff,… Acted
- I was an extroverted kid and performed, like, acting and singing. Then, the older I got, I realized I enjoyed performing things that I came… Acting