All Peter Griffin Quotes
- Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never… Cleveland
- I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front… Aging
- If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert. Child
- Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.' Alphabits
- I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for… Afraid
- Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all. All
- Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like… Ballard
- Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually. Excuse
- That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah...now feel my warm… All
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Lois, this isn't my Batman glass. Batman
- Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want… Anal
- Stand perfectly still Lois, their vision is based on movement. Based
- Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver,… Afford
- Yep, now here's the plan: You'll enter through the air contitioning duct here. Now there'll be an invisible laser grid three inches from the floor,… Air
- Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide! Brian
- Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure myself to your photos. Fantastic
- Oh yeah? Watcha sellin'? Meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal????? IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? I DONT THINK SO!!!! Block
- I'd say, 'Come again?' and I'd laugh as I said, 'Come.' Laugh
- Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung." Dictionary
- Hey hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He told me he'd give me a hundred dollars if I took off all my clothes… All
- Um, if by ead you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes. Imagined
- You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew. Big
- Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money. Beer
- Wait, Lois, we have to handle this delicately. Our son....wants....to plow you. Delicately
- Hey Lois, give Chris a break. I mean, no tv? So he failed a class, it's not like he felt up his cousin in the… Break