Best Penn Jillette Lines
- The vast majority of people who have guns never hurt anybody. Anybody
- There are performers who have built their whole career doing magic on TV and can't really perform live at all - don't really have jobs… All
- There is no reason for the government to limit political speech. Government
- There never was a God. 'God is dead' is a halfway measure I won't go with. Dead
- There's no job in show business that's harder than any other job outside show business. Any
- To drive a car in rural America is freedom. Before I had a car, I'd never seen a rock and roll show, I'd never seen… America
- Trey Parker did 'Book of Mormon.' It's the best Broadway show I've ever seen. He does 'South Park.' It's wonderful. Best
- TV networks are dying. The death throes of religion give us jihads. The death throes of television give us reality shows. Death
- We aren't people who believe that just because we're performers our opinions on everything need to be known. Believe
- We celebrities are desperate pigs. Celebrities
- We knew that we were kind of odd and creeps, and we wanted to do odd, creepy stuff for people who wanted to see that. Creeps
- We need a president who realizes that there's no government business in show business. Business
- When I buy Windows 98, I'm not only buying something useful, I'm giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing. Bill
- When someone is trying to interpret something for you, they always have an agenda. Agenda
- When you tell other people to do stuff they don't know how to do, they tend to freak out. Freak
- World War II proves there's no God. God
- You have to be careful as a libertarian because you can sound very Republican. Careful
- 'Zolten' is a common Hungarian name, it's my wife's maiden name and most importantly, it's the name of Dracula's dog. Common
- Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basically saying, 'I can't make… Admission
- Before you can read, you know the difference between a story and reality. And, of course, by the time you're old enough to do any… Any
- The First Amendment says nothing about your getting paid for saying anything. It just says you can say it. I don't believe that if a… All
- I'm a big fan of gospel music, and you cannot be a fan of rock and roll, you cannot be a fan of country western… Big
- I've voted Libertarian as long as I can remember, but I don't really remember much before the Clintons and the Bushes. Those clans made a… Bugnutty
- The first thing I said to myself on 9/11 was, 'There go our civil rights.' I found out by comparing notes later that George Carlin… Both
- A lot of older parents worry about being older parents. I hear people say, 'I don't want to be too old to play baseball with… Age
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