A girl calling another girl a slut is like a retweet but in real life, because you just gave her a shitload… — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
If she smokes cigarettes she probably has the voice of a villain. — Nikhil Saluja Villain Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you are a failure¦¦ it does mean you havent succeeded yet! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
Suicide is never the answer. Unless the question is How do I cover up a murder? — Nikhil Saluja Murder Copy Share Image
The weirdest thing just happened. I passed by a group of girls who weren't talking about other girls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If we ever get into war, only the children must evacuate. Women must fight like the equals they are! — Nikhil Saluja Evacuate Copy Share Image
Wait, are you telling me 'professional tweeter' can't go in my CV? Well this was a waste of time. — Nikhil Saluja Time Copy Share Image
The only time I enjoy listening to people complain is when I have my earphones on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I don't need to control my anger. Everybody around me needs to control their habit of pissing me the fuck off. — Nikhil Saluja Anger Copy Share Image
Wheres the best place for a man to put his checkbook? In his purse right next to his tampons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If women had to give a blowjob every time they said something bad, there would be no more obese women. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Short & sweet line¦EMPTY POCKET and HUNGRY STOMACH teaches million things in LIFE¦! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women are like coconuts. Sometimes you have to hit them really fucking hard before they will spread open. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. Rehab is for quitters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I usually try not to sound like an idiot but it's really hard because I am an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never let your Ladys mind wonder. its too little to be out on its own — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Car keys Copy Share Image
Disclaimer : Twitter is purely entertainment...it's not to be taken seriously. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
Someone just stopped me to say that he recognized me from twitter and now I'm writing my suicide note. — Nikhil Saluja Suicide Copy Share Image
If she's retweeted you twice in one day, she's pictured what your kids would look like. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
If you like internet jokes, you should see my online bank account. — Nikhil Saluja Bank account Copy Share Image
Whenever you're feeling sad masturbate, because every sad story deserves a happy ending. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are the Powerful person only when., your Presence can decrease or increase someones Heartbeat.!!! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If your daily twitter mission isn't to get 10 or more unfollows we can't be friends. — Nikhil Saluja Friends Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
Instagram: Because even ugly & fat girls wanna feel like models sometimes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems. — Nikhil Saluja Beer Copy Share Image
She wanted to sign up as an organ donor, but all she had was a guitar. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, you're an actor??? Why don't you act like a waiter and get me another beer. — Nikhil Saluja Actor Copy Share Image
Each year in my sleep I swallow about 8 spiders and 120 slices of cake. — Nikhil Saluja Sleep Copy Share Image
How about this, you remove Funny/Model from your bio and let me be the judge of that. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Are you okay? Always the same question. I'm fine. Always the same lie. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are politicians or celebrities. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Whats one thing that all women have in common? They all moan in the same language. — Nikhil Saluja Feminism Copy Share Image
If Men Got Pregnant: Men would be eager to talk about commitment — Nikhil Saluja Commitment Copy Share Image
