When gays hack into their boyfriend's Facebook account, do they change the status to, I'M STRAIGHT AND I LOVE EATING PUSSY!? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply by 5. Divide by 2. Close your eyes... Dark isn't it? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
To all men who read poetry; I bet if women had dicks, they'd shove them in your mouths to shut you the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
TV shows are great when your getting a blowjob. It gives you something to look forward to. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Can a mother get pregnant while nursing? Yes, but it's easier if she puts the baby to bed first! — Nikhil Saluja Baby Copy Share Image
Some hoes only meet the parents because they gotta walk pass the living room. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Attitude Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The doctor asked me how much I drink and I told her it depends on how much money I have. — Nikhil Saluja Doctor Copy Share Image
Everyone should experience the pure joy of leaving a fart in someone's office at least once in their lifetime. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I Followed you, I starred you, I retweeted you, I DM'ed you, I lost you, I blocked you, I never wanna see… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I press all the Try Me buttons on the toys and then just walk away. — Nikhil Saluja Toys Copy Share Image
My favorite game is shit I lost my phone in my blankets where the fuck did it go — Nikhil Saluja Game Copy Share Image
You should wear a condom on your head because if your gunna act like a dick might as well dress like one. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If a woman has her tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette watch out. She's having a terrible day. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Saying you like beer for it's taste is the same as saying you like women for their brains. — Nikhil Saluja Beer Copy Share Image
The blonde was always careful to remove her watch before putting on bug spray because she didn't want it to kill the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Blowjobs: Any girl can swallow but it takes a special kind of lady to gargle. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
So you like to play games? Cool,here's one for you...Go play 'Hide and go fuck yourself' — Nikhil Saluja Games Copy Share Image
I don't care if I offend any gays. If you can take a dick, you can take a joke. — Nikhil Saluja Joke Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you are inferior¦¦ it does mean you are not perfect! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are no relationship problems that can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate when people walk in on me masturbating and look at me like I'm the asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They said dress for the job you want not the job you have, so I dressed like Mr India and didn't show… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I learned how jackoff with my feet, I call it the look ma' no hands. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On the Internet you can be whatever you want! I mean, besides successful. — Nikhil Saluja Internet Copy Share Image
Ways of Life : A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out. — Nikhil Saluja Growth Copy Share Image
The best pictures are always taken when you don't know your being pictured. — Nikhil Saluja Photography Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Want to know who to blame for all of your misfortunes? YOURSELF! Quit blaming everyone for the drama you create in your… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
