I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I do love standup. I love comedians. They're my community. Also, because I know so many of them, I know the value… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of… — Louis C. K Awareness Copy Share Image
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get. — Louis C. K Chance Copy Share Image
You don't look down at your feet. A lot of comedians want to look down at their feet, but you break contact… — Louis C. K Audience Copy Share Image
I don't have sex drive... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
All these words we use, anybody can be a genius now. It used to be you had to have a thought no… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's nothing that beats proving you're funny by making a funny thing, and right now there are huge outlets for that, with… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
It's hard having kids because it's boring... It's just being with them on the floor while they be children. They read Clifford… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I killed my Facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn't resting and it isn't… — Louis C. K Brain Copy Share Image
Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Either I'll never get rich from the show but remain intensely proud of the work and stand behind every second of it,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'm not raising the children-I'm raising the grown-ups that they're going to be. — Louis C. K Children Copy Share Image
I've always benefited from knowing machines well, because it's freedom, it gives you freedom, I always knew that. — Louis C. K Computers Copy Share Image
Plenty of crazy people in New York. There are so many crazy people here, I think it's like one out of every… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Inspirational Copy Share Image
I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. — Louis C. K Comedy Copy Share Image
Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt. — Louis C. K Americans Copy Share Image
You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very… — Louis C. K Budgets Copy Share Image
Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of… — Louis C. K Cinema Copy Share Image
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find… — Louis C. K Being selfish Copy Share Image
You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.' — Louis C. K Boss Copy Share Image
There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. — Louis C. K Diet Copy Share Image
If the whole country had to have the same conversation that was safe for everybody, it would be a pretty awful place… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' — Louis C. K Christianity Copy Share Image
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me. — Louis C. K Alone Copy Share Image
People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can't dress and feed a four-year-old?… — Louis C. K Best father Copy Share Image
