Skip to content

Thinking Quotes by Louis C. K

44 Thinking quotes by Louis C. K

All Thinking quotes Louis C. K’s page

Louis C.K. says learning is the verb of his life and the way he chooses to live. He stopped using Facebook because scrolling feels like dead time that doesn’t let the brain rest. He wishes he could keep a journal, noting that he often writes quick notes on his phone.

Rate this collection: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

Image

Everything that's difficult you should be able to laugh about.

Image

Friends should always tell you the truth. But please don’t.

Image

God is like a shitty girlfriend.

Image

Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.

Image

I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.

Image

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

Image

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.

Image

I've started to kind of hate people, and it's not because I have anything against them. It's just, I enjoy it. It's…

Image

If you think everything you've done is great, you're probably dumb.

Image

I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning.

Image

There's nowhere I won't go. As long as it's horribly, horribly true and/or wrong.

Image

Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.

Image

You know when you see a mother someplace just melting down on her kid? She's like, 'Shut up, I hate you, you're…

Image

I am really tired of looking at my hips. I'm seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at…

Image

I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what…

Image

When I was a kid there was a show called 'Holmes & Yo-Yo' about a robot cop. I LOVED that show and…

Image

You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah,…

Image

People say, 'My phone sucks.' No, it doesn’t! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the…

Image

Some people think it's demeaning to victims if you ever say anything out-loud about sexual abuse of children. I don't know if…

Image

Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very…

Image

Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and you're all…

Image

There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about…

Image

Bill Gates has 90 billion dollars ... If I had 90 billion dollars, I wouldn't have it for long because I would…

Image

I've had two great years, probably five good years. So I had 20 years of just kind of uncertainty and suffering and…

Image

My show is sort of a short-film anthology, and I'm able to tell little stories that don't necessarily carry a whole episode…

Image

People are too afraid of uptown. A lot of people will tell you, like, "Don't go to Harlem. You can never go…

Image

I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like…

Image

Well, I think “likability” is an overused word. I don’t watch people 'cause I like them; I watch them because they’re compelling.…

Image

Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're…

Image

I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to…

Image

If you're older, you're smarter. I just believe that. If you're in an argument with someone older than you, you should listen…

Image

I'm close to my audience. I think I have more tools in my box than other guys who might try it. Also,…

Image

I killed my Facebook page years ago because time clicking around is just dead time. Your brain isn't resting and it isn't…

Image

Plenty of crazy people in New York. There are so many crazy people here, I think it's like one out of every…

Image

There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that,…

Image

I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will…

Image

I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're…

Image

If you do something and people think you're stupid, just go for crazy. You get more respect that way because nobody likes…

Image

I ate too much and masturbated too recently, you know? It's bad to like jerk off and run out the door, 'cause…

Image

Other authors on Thinking

More by Louis C. K

Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.

I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to…

I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's…

“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability…

I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.

I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning.

There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I…

“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing…

When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way…

You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself…

When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot…

There's no way you ask Sean Penn a question and then, you're gonna be HUGE !

If you had a jetpack you'd be like I have the shittiest jetpack. Who's your service provider on your jetpack? Did they make the…

I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.