Best Kinky Friedman Sayings
- I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough. Baptist
- We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and… Bad
- I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate. Apologize
- I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors. Apologize
- And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians. Beauticians
- The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount. Demand
- The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' Folks
- We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning. Bottom
- Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home,… Both
- I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care. Care
- You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing. Autographs
- You struggle with your demons and you conquer them. Conquer
- I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow. Admit
- These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me… Book
- Young people are the key to this election. Election
- I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes. Execution
- I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma! Inspirational
- I'll sign anything except bad legislation. Anything Except
- The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life. Coin
- The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system. Blued
- We've had to be creative to get on the ballot. Ballot
- When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number. First Governor
- William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. Bennett
- If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the… Been
- Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other. Accurate
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