Kinky Friedman Quotes

95 quotes in 1022 categories

• I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.
• Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy who's running the…
• I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to…
• Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.
• You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.
• I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
• The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship
• I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid…
• Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get,
• I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.
• Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.
• You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.
• If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
• Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
• When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.
• Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
• Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.
• They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.
• God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.
• An editor's job is to take something great and make it good.

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