Best Jimmy Kimmel Quotes
- I don't know if we can call ourselves everyday Joes. I think Supermen is more appropriate. We're just trying to take back the medium we… Appropriate
- When I was emceeing Win Ben Stein's Money, I actually fell asleep during the show a few times. I would sit on the safe over… Actually Fell
- Hurricane Katrina has been particularly hard on President Bush, who was forced to end his vacation two days early. He was supposed to be clearing… Been
- The president jumped on a plane to start a five-week vacation. This will be the longest presidential vacation in 36 years. This means President Bush… Been
- I get product placement and everything, but I'm sorry, Superman's father was NOT named Purell. Father
- How is it possible that no one has invented a puppy that stays a puppy? Invented
- If you don't have a crazy facebook friend, you are the crazy facebook friend. Crazy
- It's important not to forget today that mothers can also be annoying. Annoying
- I wish Vine had Tivo. Who can sit through all that? All
- Rainbows are God's way of telling us that he likes to jazz things up sometimes. God
- Its OK to use the bathroom at my house as long as you buy something. Bathroom
- The people who host the red carpet preview shows don't know it, but they died and are in hell. Carpet
- Zombies are the new Betty White. Betty
- Every once in a while guys, take time out to look in the mirror and say 'Hey you. Thanks for all the hand-jobs.' All