Best Jeremy Clarkson Sayings
- Does anyone really imagine for a moment that my wife gives two stuffs about global warming? She certainly did not appear to be all that… All
- Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich… All
- Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are. Better
- I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because… Amounts
- Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, kill… All
- If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die! Backwards
- If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of… Bagpipes
- Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun. Coming
- This is a hard job. Change gear, change gear, change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That's a lot of… Change
- They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away. Dithering
- When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards. Afterwards
- We live in the worst country in the world. At least we do for lazy, inefficient, office-bound police, whose response to an extraordinary rise in… Bound
- ...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything,… Appropriate
- I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued… Bear
- The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy,… Black
- When I was 16, I wanted to look like Lord Byron. It's not really a haircut so much as a hair-not-cut, but I've never changed… Aspire
- You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the… Behind
- Column writing is like gas - it fills the available space. Available
- I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it? Children
- I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not. Fact
- I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the Guardian hating me. Children
- I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable. Affair
- Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. Anyone
- Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal terms with a British zoo animal. Animal
- If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning, and you think you are an onion, this is your… Bmw
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