Jeremy Clarkson Quotes

85 quotes in 1387 categories

• If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn, you've got your Best Western, and you've got…
• Ecologically speaking, a spilt tanker load is like sticking a safety pin into an elephant's foot. The planet barely notices. After the Exxon Valdez accident…
• Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun -…
• The "public" seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that…
• This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
• Why is the forecast so bland? Why instead of 'stormy' don't they just say the sea's 'a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness'?
• I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put…
• Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain.
• Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
• Then there’s the biggest problem of them all – the problem of being in an Audi TT when you are not called Angela. I do…
• This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've…
• I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?
• Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the…
• I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work…
• I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed…
• I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
• Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of…
• I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
• In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled.…
• My epiglottis is full of bees!

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