All Jeff Kinney Quotes
- I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations. Bad
- So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear. Bed
- I`m basically one of the best people I know. Basically One
- Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha! Cream
- fish and visitors stink in 3 days. Days
- I've seen a lot of movies where a kid my age finds out he's got magical powers and then gets invited to go away to… Age
- Because it's our choices that makes us who we are... Choices
- I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born. All
- When you're used to having electricity and then all of a sudden it's taken away, you're basically just one step from being a wild animal. All
- hope your birthday is hot hot hot Birthday
- I got to give mom credit for how she handled it.She didn't try to pry and get all the details. All she said was that… Advice
- It's not easy to writing thank-you notes for the stuff you didn't want in the first place. Easy
- Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist? Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you! Chirag
- I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget Chicken
- I don't know what a guy needs to do to impress a girl these days. Days
- Back in those days it was just me swimming around in the dark, doing back flips and taking naps whenever I want. Back Flips
- He got the crib, so for the first few months of my life I had to sleep in the top dresser drawer, which I'm pretty… Crib
- I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning… Bed
- Mom is always saying I'm a smart kid, but that I just don't apply myself. Always Saying
- The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any… All
- ... no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance. Chance
- I was an average kid who had his wimpy moments. Average
- I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place. Better
- My office doubles as a karaoke den for the neighborhood. There are strobe lights and Rock Band plastic guitars, a disco ball and a fog… Ball
- I write in reverse: Rather than come up with a narrative and write jokes for that narrative, I write jokes independently of the narrative, then… Fit