Best Garrison Keillor Sayings
- You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. Ability
- In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. All
- A compassionate conservative is someone who electrocutes juveniles but lets them have a last 'make a wish'. Compassionate
- I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all… All
- I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought… Bought
- The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment; you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be… Avoid
- Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota. All
- I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme. Firecracker
- When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all… All
- I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms.… Airplane
- I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of… Bases
- I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that… Beginning
- I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader… All
- Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not… Anymore
- What keeps faith cheerful is the extreme persistence of gentleness and humor. Gentleness is everywhere in daily life, a sign that faith rules through ordinary… All
- Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis. Catholic
- In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes. Forget
- Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house,… All
- God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention. Attention
- I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness ... Christmas
- A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people… Class
- Marriage, friends, is a lifelong feast; love is no light lunch. Feast
- ... life itself is brief, and that is what charges the day with such ridiculous beauty. Beauty
- Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there. Concerto
- Being rich and thin isn't everything. Inspirational
More Ways to Read Garrison Keillor Quotes
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