All Fred Allen Quotes
- Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. Drawn
- Television is the triumph of machine over people. Machine
- You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway… All
- If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race. Fee
- Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making. Bag
- A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. Any
- Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. Cities
- I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. Amazement
- Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. Actor
- A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better. Agent
- An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer. Associate
- During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk. Big
- Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. Creation
- I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. Belief
- Imitation is the sincerest form of television. Definitions
- My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama. Alabama
- Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. Afraid
- Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. Device
- The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed. Advertising
- The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi. Cities