Fran Lebowitz Quotes

147 quotes in 1695 categories

• Randomness scares people. Religion is a way to explain randomness.
• When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people with…
• The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's…
• Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease…
• Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.
• Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
• I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
• In conversation you can use timing, a look, an inflection. But on the page all you have is commas, dashes, the amount of syllables in…
• Screenwriting is not an artform, it is a punishment from God.
• Contrary to what many of you may imagine, a career in letters is not without its drawbacks - chief among them the unpleasant fact that…
• Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.
• How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.
• No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.
• To me, O'Hara is the real Fitzgerald.
• By the time everyone catches up with you, you're bored.
• Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
• There are too many books. The books are terrible. And this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem.
• My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if…
• Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you…
• People who get married because they're in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your…

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