Best Finley Peter Dunne Quotes
- A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing… Agnostic
- Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. All
- That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns. Constitution
- When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy. American
- There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue. Facts
- To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes. Clothes
- It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was. Good
- What's wan man's news is another man's throubles. Inspirational
- Trust ivrybody-but cut th' cards. Cards
- A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew… Funny
- High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts. Art
- It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels. Angel
- A man's idee in a card game is war Card
- The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living. Firsts
- A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away… Belief
- Trust everybody, but cut the cards. Cards
- A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case. Case
- The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual. Better
- Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is… Decorated
- Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable. Afflict
- You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think. Education
- Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv. Died
- Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it. Allowed
- Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts. Alcohol
- Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable. Afflict