Finley Peter Dunne Quotes

58 quotes in 495 categories

• It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
• Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.
• One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
• Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
• Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
• Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
• Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
• Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
• The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
• I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
• If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good…
• A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement…
• Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th'…
• Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
• A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
• There are no friends at cards or world politics
• An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
• There aint any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage…
• Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it
• Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.

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