Evan Esar Quotes

73 quotes in 735 categories

• The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
• Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.
• After wisdom comes wit.
• Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.
• Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
• Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
• A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
• Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
• Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
• [Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.
• [Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
• A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.
• Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
• Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
• Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
• America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
• Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
• A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
• The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
• Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

Browse Evan Esar Quotes by Category