Evan Esar Quotes

73 quotes in 735 categories

• Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.
• Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
• Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.
• The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
• Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.
• [A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
• A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
• Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
• All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
• The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
• A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.
• The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
• Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
• Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.
• Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.
• Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he…
• Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
• It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
• A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
• You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

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