Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much. — Erma Bombeck Death Copy Share Image
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. — Erma Bombeck Chains Copy Share Image
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. — Erma Bombeck Buzzards Copy Share Image
Dont confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. — Erma Bombeck Fame Copy Share Image
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do… — Erma Bombeck Alphabetical order Copy Share Image
Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's… — Erma Bombeck Boys Copy Share Image
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight. — Erma Bombeck Baby Copy Share Image
... it's simply wrong to always order [kids] to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his… — Erma Bombeck Children Copy Share Image
Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down… — Erma Bombeck Baby Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try… — Erma Bombeck Child Copy Share Image
Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls not knowing about money… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“When God Created Mothers" When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel… — Erma Bombeck Black coffee Copy Share Image
“In all honesty, men changed a few rules when they became what was referred to as househusbands. Bill didn't make beds, cook,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“Childhood is a time for pretending and trying on maturity to see if it fits or hangs baggy, tastes good or bitter,… — Erma Bombeck Aging Copy Share Image
“ If I had my life to live over... Someone asked me the other day if I had my life to live… — Erma Bombeck Ice cream Copy Share Image
We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't… — Erma Bombeck Battle Copy Share Image
“I want to teach you so much that you must know to find happiness within yourself. Yet I don't know where to… — Erma Bombeck Happiness Copy Share Image
One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky. — Erma Bombeck Air travel Copy Share Image
![“[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.” quote by Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/221/erma-bombeck-780_death_on-her-father-s-death-i-didn-t-know-his_1914411.png)
![“... it's simply wrong to always order [kids] to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights and damned well should be fighting.” quote by Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ac/erma-bombeck-780_children_it-s-simply-wrong-to-always-order-kids-t_1319320.jpg)
