Children Quotes by Erma Bombeck

Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.

— Erma Bombeck

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted.

— Erma Bombeck

Children make your life important.

— Erma Bombeck

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste.

— Erma Bombeck

A child needs your love most when he deserves it least

— Erma Bombeck

Never have more children than you have car windows.

— Erma Bombeck

Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.

— Erma Bombeck

Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.

— Erma Bombeck

I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.

— Erma Bombeck

To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.

— Erma Bombeck

Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.

— Erma Bombeck

Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

— Erma Bombeck

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.

— Erma Bombeck

When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.

— Erma Bombeck

If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

— Erma Bombeck

Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat…

— Erma Bombeck

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do…

— Erma Bombeck

I think it's time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don't have room to carry their own…

— Erma Bombeck

My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving…

— Erma Bombeck

... it's simply wrong to always order [kids] to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his…

— Erma Bombeck

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times…

— Erma Bombeck

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try…

— Erma Bombeck

I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue…

— Erma Bombeck

Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I'll tell them: I loved you enough…

— Erma Bombeck

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to…

— Erma Bombeck

Myths that need clarification: "No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears." False.…

— Erma Bombeck

I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going…

— Erma Bombeck

It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of…

— Erma Bombeck

Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons,…

— Erma Bombeck

When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the…

— Erma Bombeck

Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you…

— Erma Bombeck

“Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls not knowing about money…

— Erma Bombeck

“When God Created Mothers" When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel…

— Erma Bombeck

When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.

— Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.

— Erma Bombeck

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is…

— Erma Bombeck

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

— Erma Bombeck

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18…

— Erma Bombeck

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

— Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

— Erma Bombeck