All David Sedaris Quotes
- Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn't have to be a big thing; in fact, most often, it's just the… Big
- God was someone I wound up turning over and over in my mind each night... Was He punishing me with this meal or was He… Actively
- I met a young woman the other day, and she said, what advice would you have for a writer, and I said it would be… Advice
- It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice… Arrange
- I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should… Candidates
- After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art.… Apartment
- My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining. All
- Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth. Feel
- What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. Call
- But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either. Distinguish
- I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have… Animal
- I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be… Aid
- I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books. Audio
- I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives. Book
- Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it. Boy
- I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you. Always Think
- I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. Couch
- I sometimes read books on my iPad. Book
- I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later. Book
- I've been keeping diaries for 27 years. Been
- If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a new mental adventure… Adventure
- Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie. Inspirational
- Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them… Day
- As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners. Foreigner
- But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. Funny