“If at first you don't succeed, torch the place and claim on the insurance.” — Dave Turner Copy Share Image
“Dave grimaced. 'Cheesecake for breakfast?' 'What's the problem? It's dairy and cereal. It's practically a bowl of cornflakes.” — Dave Turner Breakfast Copy Share Image
“Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat?” — Dave Turner How-to-be-dead Copy Share Image
“Every time you tell a lie an angel punches a unicorn in the face with a kitten.” — Dave Turner Angel Copy Share Image
“Dave gazed at Melanie like Professor Brian Cox eyeing up a particularly thought-provoking mountain range.” — Dave Turner How-to-be-dead Copy Share Image
“Personally, I believe that love is merely a chemical imbalance that makes you forget your credit card limit.” — Dave Turner Credit card Copy Share Image
