Daniel Handler

Adverbs is a book about love, and I thought that was pretty cheerful, but people who are reading it now are telling…

— Daniel Handler

Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.

— Daniel Handler

Love is candy from a stranger, but it's candy you've had before and it probably won't kill you.

— Daniel Handler

But just suddenly I really, really needed to see you again right that minute, that night.

— Daniel Handler

The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights.

— Daniel Handler

“There was a noise above us like an airplane zoom, but it was getting too dark to see. People started laying on…

— Daniel Handler

I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always…

— Daniel Handler

If I were to say, "Yes, I am a fascinating, erudite person," what would that say about me? I don't know.

— Daniel Handler

“The first book that I bought with my own money was "The Blue Aspic" by Edward Gorey. In fact, when the first…

— Daniel Handler

“She licked her lips and then wiped them on her hand, her dark lipstick staining her wrist like a suicide.”

— Daniel Handler

“But I want it anyway, Ed. I want what can't possibly happen, and that is why we broke up.”

— Daniel Handler

“But it’s December now, and the sky is bright, and it’s clear to me. I’m telling you why we broke up, Ed.…

— Daniel Handler

One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes,…

— Daniel Handler

You meet people who are in pain in life and love and you forgive them for behaving the way they do.

— Daniel Handler

“I saw myself, clearly, a scorned woman drunk and angry at a party. Hell hath no fury etc.”

— Daniel Handler

“She spun the car through a right turn that would have killed us all had we been minor characters.”

— Daniel Handler

It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world

— Daniel Handler

“Who can I complain to, if I don’t like the shape of the globe?”

— Daniel Handler

“You're a ghost! Eddie cried. You're empty and you have nothing inside you.”

— Daniel Handler

The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn't have gotten…

— Daniel Handler

So every so often, when I meet someone who's honestly appalled by my books and doesn't understand why they would be attractive…

— Daniel Handler

I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we're in a bookstore…

— Daniel Handler

Here we are at the bottom, almost empty. It's like confetti, these dried remnants you find in the street for a party…

— Daniel Handler

...everyone was right about you- prove them wrong.

— Daniel Handler

“Not like we were going to be forever. I mean, who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know…

— Daniel Handler