Best Bill Burr Quotes
- Seriously, any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad… Advice
- I was scared to death because for the comics of my generation, HBO specials are like the pinnacle. I'm thinking of all these unbelievable comedians… All
- Whats up with all these guys killing their wives now? Like, every couple of weeks in the news, you see that shit...guys killing their wives.… All
- You know what I like about George Bush? He makes me feel like I could be president, too. No, he does. He's like the first… Bush
- Rednecks are like America's pit bulls. They should just sedate those people, drop 'em off in Afghanistan, just let them run wild. Just be like,… Afghanistan
- I'd be like, 'Lady, get the hell away from me! You're old, you're gross...I'm sorry. I'm sure you were unbelievable back in the 20s, when… Bathtub
- Now, if they were just honest about it and were like, 'Look, this guy's going to die in, like, seven or eight minutes; I'm going… Bag
- I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and… Always Work
- I think racists know at this point that theyve probably got to keep their ideas to themselvesunless theyre at one of those Klan meetings. You… All
- Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet. Gun
- Nothing makes a white guy feel safer than seeing a trolly, you never feel youre gonna get fucked up when youre around a trolly. Feel
- Fuck this Im going to get a pumpkin. Fuck
- Do you know how many times a week people ask me why Im yelling? Ask
- There's this critical point where you've stayed single for too long and your brain switches from 'You know, maybe I shouldn't say that.' to 'Eh,… Brain
- Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog. Adult
- I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak. Afraid
- The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for… Aids
- A good story is always you doing something wrong, you know? That's why nice people are so damn boring. I mean, they're nice, but their… Boring
- Women are constantly patting themselves on the back on how difficult their lives are and no one corrects em, cuz they wanna fuck em! Constantly