All Augusten Burroughs Quotes
- I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and… Compassion
- Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal. Fabric
- Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face. Able
- I hate feelings. Why does sobriety have to come with feelings? Doe
- I told myself, 'All I want is a normal life'. But was that true? I wasn't so sure. Because there was a part of me… Addicted
- My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron. Cairo
- Red hair is great. It's rare, and therefore superior. Great
- While I liked hamsters, too, the Habitrail cage was expensive. Even I could see that the interconnecting boxes, tubes, and spheres could easily bankrupt a… Addiction
- I gazed around the room and my eyes stopped dead on a little boy standing in the corner. This was a particularly eerie doll. Life-sized… Blades
- When you have your health, you have everything. When you do not have your health, nothing else matters at all. All
- Maybe it was a Patty Hearst thing. Stockholm syndrome or whatever it's called when you're being held against your will but then you become sucked… Any
- Other people sound flat to my ear; their words just hang in the air. But when my mother says something, the ends curl. Air
- My instinct was always have your gun in your hand. Especially when you are telling somebody to do something. But, in fact, the police academy… Academy
- Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people. Anything Anyway
- So that's what I'm here to become. And suddenly, this word fills me with a brand of sadness I haven't felt since childhood. The kind… Brand
- your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone. Alone
- He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa. Catch
- I just look at her and she creeps me out. She looks like she would eat a baby. Not that she's fat. She just looks… Baby
- The reason I know what we are to each other is because we fight freely and almost constantly, about even the smallest thing. In fact,… All
- I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water. Inspirational
- To me, these people were as exotic as animals in a zoo. I'd never seen anything like them. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to… Among
- In the same way that a tornado rips the roof off a double-wide trailer, leaving the occupants dazed and staring at the clouds from the… Clouds
- It was like living in a new house. I saw the undersides of tables, walked through the tangle of chair legs. It would be good… All
- God, I felt certain, did not mind that I didn’t press my hands together to pray. I was casual, but I was sincere. I knew… Answer
- I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God was simply that… Alone