Around Quote by Artie Lange

“You know you have a gambling problem when it's 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book and you're walking around going, 'Hey you get the lacrosse scores?'” quote by Artie Lange — Download Open image

“You know you have a gambling problem when it's 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book and you're walking around going, 'Hey you get the lacrosse scores?'”

Artie Lange

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The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

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It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy.…

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It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out…

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A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he'd ground out to second for him.

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At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

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Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to…

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By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

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The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a…

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The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.

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When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

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Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do…

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In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

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I can look around a room and tell you if there are hidden cameras or not.

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