"When I finished high school, I wanted to……" — Anthony Jeselnik
"When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle."
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Anthony Jeselnik
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30 Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnik has 30 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I've got a long history of suicid in my family; the good news is it skips a generation, so, if…
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This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it.…
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My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.
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Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that hasn’t already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?
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Charlie Sheen called his boss on 'Two and a Half Men' a 'Jew ki**' and expected to go back to work.…
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God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.
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My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to…
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Katey Sagal, you are an incredible actress. You worked on ‘Married with Children,’ the show that changed comedy, ‘Sons of…
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You know how everybody has that one weird creepy uncle? Well, Seth Green looks like he got raped by all…
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Ellen Barkin, your upcoming TV show ‘The New Normal’ premiers on September 11th. September 11th, that sounds about right. Every…
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Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all,…
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The world is full of horrible things...
See all 30 quotes by Anthony Jeselnik »
More Accident Quotes
This quote is filed under Accident Quotes,
one of 1,026 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident.
— Lauren Bacall
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Be Prepared... the meaning of the motto is that a scout must prepare himself by previous thinking out and practicing…
— Robert Baden-Powell
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Accident counts for as much in companionship as in marriage.
— Henry Adams
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I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you…
— Roseanne Barr
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No one in the United States has become seriously ill or has died because of any kind of accident at…
— Joe Barton
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What you are, you are by accident of birth; what I am, I am by myself. There are and will…
— Ludwig van Beethoven
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Idle people are often bored and bored people, unless they sleep a lot, are cruel. It is not accident that…
— Renata Adler
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The Communist regime didn't consider this to be a shining moment in history and assigned no heroism to it. They…
— Kathryn Bigelow
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There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed.
— Napoleon Bonaparte
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U2 is sort of song writing by accident really. We don't really know what we're doing and when we do,…
— Bono
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It's not a coincidence that in the Scriptures, poverty is mentioned more than 2,100 times. It's not an accident. That's…
— Bono
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I really discovered I had thyroid disease by accident. My son was having some health concerns, and as I filled…
— Kim Alexis
See all 1,026 Accident Quotes »