Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Next to being witty yourself, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit. — Christian Nevell Bovee Copy Share Image
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so… — Minnie Pearl Copy Share Image
The sight of a womans cleavage reduces a mans ability to think clearly by 50%…per boob. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The more learned and witty you bee, the more fit to act for Satan will you bee. — John Cotton Copy Share Image
The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's… — David Frost Copy Share Image
I don't believe any experiment until it is confirmed by theory. I find this is a witty inversion of "conventional" wisdom. — Arthur Eddington Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he will find he can't blame on the government; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to… — Dick Cheney Copy Share Image
If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I miss you when I'm not with you. When I'm not with you all I do is think about you. When I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the… — Fionnula Flanagan Copy Share Image
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Thou art so witty, wicked, and so thin, Thou art at once the Devil, Death, and Sin. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MARRIED MAN, a person who has learned to turn off the car motor when his wife calls: I'll be right out — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Unlike my subject will I frame my song, It shall be witty and it shan't be long. — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
“Arrogant men with knowledge make more noise from their mouth than making a sense from their mind.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. — Johnny Vegas Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A man who has one mistake in his existence -- and keeps learning from it all his life; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.” — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
It's hard for me to say I love you because the word you isn't beer or sex or football. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A lot of women don't like to give blow jobs. On a related note: A lot of marriages fail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I want to make a picture about the Russian secret police - the GOP. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A word which always means commitment -- but so does insanity; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit resembles a coquette; those who the most eagerly run after it are the least favored. — Joseph Chenier Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is achieved when silence between two people is comfortable; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, TRADITIONAL, A man who expects his wife to help him with the dishes — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Yes it's going really well. We are planning on having a baby together. — Shahrukh Khan Copy Share Image
