One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you. — Judy Sheindlin Copy Share Image
You are the Powerful person only when., your Presence can decrease or increase someones Heartbeat.!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Is going to start living by the NMFP policy - 'not my fucking problem.' — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
How about this, you remove Funny/Model from your bio and let me be the judge of that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'd like to do music in the same way - in a witty way. People think of YG artists as rarely appearing… — Seungri Copy Share Image
On his daughter's diaper: There was so much poop. It didn't look like a baby's poop. It looked like a 55-year-old alcoholic… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Nervousness and excitement were two sides of the same coin, but Vere still couldn’t make heads or tails of what he was… — Merry Knightly Copy Share Image
Blessed is the satirist; and blessed the ironist; blessed the witty scoffer, and blessed the sentimentalist; for each, having seen one spoke… — Christopher Morley Copy Share Image
The NFL is boring, the NBA is disintegrating, baseball is totally predictable. Maybe we do need the XFL. Maybe we need Nude… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They said dress for the job you want not the job you have, so I dressed like Mr India and didn't show… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Truly love you endlessly. Every day without you is like a book without pages. I love you, I will always do, for… — F Abahusain Copy Share Image
You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are politicians or celebrities. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A strange feeling that comes over a man -- when he keeps wanting to call a girl by his last name; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I followed you back after 15 minutes of following me, I was just pretending to be busy & I failed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear. — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, SMART, A man who is never so busy bringing home the bacon that he forgets the applesauce; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction. — Mae West Copy Share Image
Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Every night when everyone's asleep, I grab my phone and I start reading all our old conversations. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking your ass in the parking lot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
They named it Twitter because Licking each other dirty asses was too long. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why don't blind people sky dive? Because it scares the hell out of their dogs! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Does anyone ever get that feeling in class when you just wanna scream out 'NOBODY GIVES A FUCK!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am like a Rolls- Royce. I can run without an engine, purely on reputation — Shahrukh Khan Copy Share Image
