I wish people would learn from their mistakes and not keep making the same exact ones, damaging themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The worst guilt is to accept an undeserved guilt — and that is what you have been doing all your life. — Ayn Rand Copy Share Image
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. — Aristotle Copy Share Image
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. — Joey Adams Copy Share Image
“What are you - Secret Service?' 'If I were, I wouldn't admit it.' 'And you're not admitting it, I notice.” — Robert Goddard Copy Share Image
Faced with having to change our views or prove that there is no need to do so, most of us immediately get… — John Kenneth Galbraith Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Now, where does my comedy come from, like, as a human being? Yeah, when I was a kid I was dyslexic and… — Dax Shepard Copy Share Image
Curran grinned and my heart made a little jump. I didn’t expect that. “That’s it? That’s your witty comeback?” “Yep.” Eloquence ’R’… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
As I may or may not say to the Lord on Judgment Day, "You ask a lot of questions for someone who… — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
Wit in women is a jewel, which, unlike all others, borrows lustre from its setting, rather than bestows it; since nothing is… — Charles Caleb Colton Copy Share Image
he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
I think I hang out with some pretty witty people, but we're never that funny. — Bobcat Goldthwait Copy Share Image
I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
Sometimes a lady wants to be woken up with a face between her legs... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The next best thing to being witty is to quote another's wit. — Christian Nevell Bovee Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The continuous process of getting used to things you never expected; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pro-gas-ti-na-tion¦ Waiting to fill up your tank while hoping the gas prices will actually go down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know what's cuter than your baby? Sleeping in till 11am on weekends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feelings one can go through in one day. — Anne Morrow Lindbergh Copy Share Image
Wit as an instrument of revenge is as infamous as art is as a means of sensual titillation. — Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel Copy Share Image
“Sometime bad self-esteem is just good common sense" Cloris Leachman, Spanglish” — Kristen Wasyliszyn Copy Share Image
To be loved is to be fortunate, to be hated is to have acheived distinction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
