Art should be witty, like a good Eddie Murphy movie, to make your life a little easier and better. — William Quigley Copy Share Image
Good girls say no Bad girls say when? Naughty girls don't say anything, they just moan and scream a lot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“How come if people keep telling me I'm so smart, I keep doing such stupid things?” — George Watsky Copy Share Image
“Spanish—how shall I say this?—is like Portuguese spoken with a speech impediment.” — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
There are only 2 things wrong in family reunion. The family thing & The reunion thing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't get shock if I unfollow you. It was completely your fault (for thinking I am different). — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I didn't give a fuck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying fuck. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My cock got caught in my zipper today…at least that's what I'm telling my wife when she sees the teeth marks on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls prefer the missionary position Bad girls do too, but only for starters Naughty girls add some new chapters in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Take a portion of wit, And fashion it fit, Like a needle, with point and with eye: A point that can wound,… — Jacques Barzun Copy Share Image
Nowhere are prejudices more mistaken for truth, passion for reason and invective for documentation than in politics. — John Mason Brown Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Something that changes the demeanour of a driver -- there is no longer any effort needed to keep both hands on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Yesterday, at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how he prepared the chicken. He replied, "We don't...we just tell it straight that… — Mahesh Shroff Copy Share Image
Whenever someone says This day couldn't get any worse I immediately punch them in nose & ask Are you sure about that? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. — William Saroyan Copy Share Image
I thought of you today. I saw a cockroach and you crossed my mind. I stepped on it. — Jazmin Garcia Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the TELEPHONE GUY says, Would you like it On the table or against the wall? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
“Cowards say it can't be done, critics say it shouldn't have been done, creator say well done.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
These people are harassing me badly, they said they'll cut…… if I don't pay my phone bill on time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the rest of the book is prose; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a goofy side that impacts my clothing a lot. To that end, I love witty, colorful, prints. — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
