My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do I have an option? when asked by the press if she was "running as a woman." — Patricia Schroeder Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman wants people saying behind her back is nice ass. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind… — Lauren Cagliola Green Copy Share Image
LOVE, The only thing that has changed over the millions of years of playing this game is that trumps have changed from… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
When do these twitter girls will realize that boys are usually following them or retweeting them for sexting & not for their tweets? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LUXURIES, Items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage license — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“And then the second thing you have to do is go and see your son. That is a duty of love, Andrew.… — Alexander McCall Smith Copy Share Image
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Okay. - the only thing ever said by guys in Sex, Shower and Sandwitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For the qualities of sheer wit and humor, Swift had no superior, ancient or modern. — Leigh Hunt Copy Share Image
Two negatives don't make a positive, any more than two half-wits make a wit. — Neil Kinnock Copy Share Image
Some people are just like some schools during summer, they have, NO CLASS. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is made out of two toothbrushes but a single tube of toothpaste; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood — Fred Thompson Copy Share Image
Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself. — Mae West Copy Share Image
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I don't care if it doesn't make a nickel. I just want every man, woman, and child in America to see it. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
I once arm wrestled the Incredible Hulk. The loser had to paint himself green. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One thing nice about being dead is that you immediately become eligible to appear on stamps and money. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I once dated a woman who owned a dog. The thing would never shut the fuck up. The dog was cool though. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence. — Virginia Woolf Copy Share Image
I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
