I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit. — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your phone goes dead in the middle of a interesting conversation... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are no relationship problems that can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
If you fight angry, you make a lot of mistakes, and when you fight a sharp, witty fighter like me, you can't… — Floyd Mayweather, Jr Copy Share Image
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never ask while you are doing it if what you are doing is fun. Don't introduce even your most reliably witty acquaintance… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is much like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Television has an awful lot to do with the Kennedy mystique and the fact that he's frozen in people's minds at the… — Robert Dallek Copy Share Image
I did buy 'The Sun' a few times, but I just don't read the tabloids. Sometimes they can have genius witty headlines,… — Lucy Punch Copy Share Image
LOVE, A situation -- when it is true, does not mean gazing into each other's eyes, but looking outward together in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For those who woke up in a Fussy mood this morning do me a favor, punch your spouse in their fucking face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Raillery is a mode of speaking in favor of one's wit at the expense of one's better nature. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked. — David Bailey Copy Share Image
Good girls wear high heels to work Bad girls wear high heels to bed Naughty girls make you wear high heels — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
History is littered with the wars which everybody knew would never happen. — Enoch Powell Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I have a goofy side that impacts my clothing a lot. To that end, I love witty, colorful, prints. — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the rest of the book is prose; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
