I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A strange feeling that comes over a man -- when he keeps wanting to call a girl by his last name; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I followed you back after 15 minutes of following me, I was just pretending to be busy & I failed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are the Powerful person only when., your Presence can decrease or increase someones Heartbeat.!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Be completely honest - have you ever met someone who you thought was truly clever or interesting or witty who wore fawn? — Claudia Winkleman Copy Share Image
“Life is meaning less when you realized that you are about to die. Till then, everything negative however trifle they may be,… — Ankur Basu Roy Copy Share Image
They say the grass is greener on the other side...that's such b.s. cause when I flipped it over all I saw was… — Sarah Moores Copy Share Image
WIFE, A woman who can be labelled intelligent when she sees through her husband -- she's understanding when she sees him through; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you love someone so much you're waiting for them, you're noble. If you're making someone who loves you wait for you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bill Gallagher's new version of 'The Prisoner' is an enthralling commentary on modern culture. It is witty, intelligent and disturbing. I am… — Ian Mckellen Copy Share Image
Music has shaped men’s fashion and transposed in a playful and witty manner its riding or military heritage. It is difficult to… — Hedi Slimane Copy Share Image
Politicians are like bananas when they first come in they're green, then they turn yellow, and finally they're rotten! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Is going to start living by the NMFP policy - 'not my fucking problem.' — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How about this, you remove Funny/Model from your bio and let me be the judge of that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The Law is a grim, unsmiling thing. Not Justice, though. Justice is witty and whimsical and kind and caring. — Rohinton Mistry Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Witticisms please as long as we keep them within boundaries, but pushed to excess they cause offense. — Phaedrus Copy Share Image
Grave authors say, and witty poets sing, That honest wedlock is a glorious thing. — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
“He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger.” — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. Rehab is for quitters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People who can't be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate. — George Eliot Copy Share Image
Never let your Ladys mind wonder. its too little to be out on its own — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you. — Judy Sheindlin Copy Share Image
“Silence had weight. And in that moment, it was heavier than both of them could carry.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss. — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a woman has her tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette watch out. She's having a terrible day. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. — Maurice Sendak Copy Share Image
