Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit as an instrument of revenge is as infamous as art is as a means of sensual titillation. — Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel Copy Share Image
“Sometime bad self-esteem is just good common sense" Cloris Leachman, Spanglish” — Kristen Wasyliszyn Copy Share Image
“Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind… — Lauren Cagliola Green Copy Share Image
LOVE, The only thing that has changed over the millions of years of playing this game is that trumps have changed from… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. 'Ugh, Look at that b*tch, eating those crackers like she owns the place!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
If you're being talked about, remember: Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. — Sarah Moores Copy Share Image
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To be loved is to be fortunate, to be hated is to have acheived distinction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
Sometimes a lady wants to be woken up with a face between her legs... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The next best thing to being witty is to quote another's wit. — Christian Nevell Bovee Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The continuous process of getting used to things you never expected; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pro-gas-ti-na-tion¦ Waiting to fill up your tank while hoping the gas prices will actually go down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know what's cuter than your baby? Sleeping in till 11am on weekends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feelings one can go through in one day. — Anne Morrow Lindbergh Copy Share Image
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. — Joey Adams Copy Share Image
“What are you - Secret Service?' 'If I were, I wouldn't admit it.' 'And you're not admitting it, I notice.” — Robert Goddard Copy Share Image
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
I think I hang out with some pretty witty people, but we're never that funny. — Bobcat Goldthwait Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
