You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A sneeze is like a little orgasm. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes and think about your twitter crush. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists? — Jandy Nelson Copy Share Image
The character of false wit is that of appearing to depend only upon reason. — Luc de Clapiers Copy Share Image
Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The real fact of the matter is that nobody reads ads. People read what interest them, and sometimes it's an ad. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Statistically, 10% of women will find this joke offensive. The other 90% are in the kitchen, where they fucking should be! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When do these twitter girls will realize that boys are usually following them or retweeting them for sexting & not for their tweets? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LUXURIES, Items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage license — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“And then the second thing you have to do is go and see your son. That is a duty of love, Andrew.… — Alexander McCall Smith Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t feel good, and I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I got a fortune cookie today. It said I should invest in something fun on four wheels. I don't know if that… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those 'laugh-out-loud' kinds. I… — Bipasha Basu Copy Share Image
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. — David Brenner Copy Share Image
A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am. — Edmond Rostand Copy Share Image
There's no place like home. Especially when we're talking about The best place to take a shit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“With discipline, you can lose weight, you can excel in work, you can win the war.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“Revenge was an expensive sport. The question was always whether the prize was worth the ticket.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
I am going to buy you a condom coz if u r going to act like a dick you should be dressed… — Vedica Copy Share Image
Yeah, I treat all my heroines like children now. I pick them up, I cuddle them, I call them baby... — Shahrukh Khan Copy Share Image
A cat is witty, he has nerve, he knows how to do precisely the right thing at the right moment. — Henri Poincare Copy Share Image
The physician can bury his mistakes, but the architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. — Frank Lloyd Wright Copy Share Image
I feel pretty and witty and gay. And I pity any girl who isn't me today. — Marni Nixon Copy Share Image
School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit consists in knowing the resemblance of things that differ, and the difference of things that are alike. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you. — Elsie de Wolfe Copy Share Image
Cashier: Are you buying these? Me: No, I'm going to steal them, I just wanted to show you first. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
