Witty Quotes by Les Dawson

I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.

— Les Dawson

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite…

— Les Dawson

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

— Les Dawson

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

— Les Dawson

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

— Les Dawson

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

— Les Dawson

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

— Les Dawson

In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite…

— Les Dawson

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.

— Les Dawson

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

— Les Dawson

With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever.

— Les Dawson

Mind you, I've always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I'd whisper, 'Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,'…

— Les Dawson